The time is Now.

By: Sydney

Apr 11 2010

Category: Uncategorized

1 Comment

A couple of weeks ago my uncle passed away at 44 years old.  It happened so suddenly; he went into a coma on Wednesday March 25th, and was gone less than 24 hours later. He had diabetes and didn’t know it. He went into a blood sugar induced coma and never came out of it. It was incredibly tragic and so unexpected.

Although he was family and I truly did love my uncle, my relationship was the most removed than anyone else affected by his death.  My mother lost her brother; my grandparents lost their son; my 13 year-old cousin lost her father; and my aunt-to-be (his fiance–they were together for 15 years) lost the love of her life. His death threw everyone for a loop. And I don’t think any of their lives will ever be the same.

As I mentioned in my previous post, my family had been on the rocks for some time.  It took the passing of a family member for people to let go of grudges, resentment, and let bygones be bygones.  It was a beautiful thing to see my family reunite, but it was so disappointing that it took Death to make a it happen.

I’ve always appreciated that my mother instilled a spirit of reconciliation in my at a young age. Whenever I had a bad argument with one of my sisters, she always made us talk afterwards. She wouldn’t let us go to sleep mad at each other. That just didn’t happen in her house.  Now as an adult, I make sure that I’m never on bad terms with the people in my life. I don’t care if we came to blows, if you’re an irreplaceable loved one in my life, I’m not going hold a grudge and not talk to you for months.  Because you just never know when you’re one month too late…

I had considered myself one of the most forgiving people I know. Always willing to give second-chances, never willing to leave a situation unresolved. And then I realized that I’ve been holding a life-long grudge with my father. As evidenced by a post a made last year, I had a lot of resentment towards him that I wouldn’t let go of.  I hadn’t talked to him in nearly three months. And before that, I probably hadn’t talked to him in about six. I had made up my mind that I didn’t care. That I’d rather have an estranged relationship with him than submit myself to the lies and broken promises of my childhood. My uncle’s passing certainly put things in perspective.  I thought about how I’d feel if my father (God forbid) had passed away. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t nurture my relationship with my father because of grudges from my childhood and adolescence. And then to suddenly know that he wasn’t there anymore…I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I don’t need to really drive this point home any further because I think you all get the gist.   If there’s anyone in your life that you’re not talking to because of a past situation, get over it. The fact is, NOTHING is so important that it’s worth being stubborn over.  Life is too precious and unpromised to hold grudges.  If the relationship is important to you, fix it. As soon as possible. Like, now.

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One comment on “The time is Now.”

  1. Reading something this honest at 10 in the morning is a refreshing way to start the day.

    I’m sorry to hear about your family’s loss. And yes, the lesson you’re talking about is something that we all need to hear.

    You just never know.


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